DUNKIRK AND WHERE I AM NOW

I just came from watching the movie, “Dunkirk.” I really didn’t want to watch it, but between some Tagalog movies and “Dunkirk”, I was left with no choice.

It was “Seniors Free” day, where Seniors can watch movies until 5 p.m. for free. The line took too long to clear, and by the time it was my turn, the movie had already started.

When I got to sit down, all the credits were gone. The soldiers were already lined up on the beach, getting ready to move to safety, wherever that was.

I didn’t bring anyone with me. I decided to go it alone. So when the battles started, I felt my blood pressure rising. I clutched my bag to my chest, hoping it would calm me down. But the onslaught of more conflict made me think, “Should I continue with this movie? I might have a heart attack.”

When the dogfights started — that is what my mother used to call the fights in planes between enemies– I felt like the little girl who watched movies everyday again. I was born just after the World War II ended, and many of the movies that were shown continued to be war movies. It was as though the people could not shake off the war. It just had to be there for a while. And if it was a war movie, it inevitably had a dogfight between enemy planes.

I thought to myself, I am so lucky to have been born after the war. And to almost end my life without going through another war. People who were born after me don’t know how lucky they are. Of course, there was that one episode in San Luis, when the hukbalahap (rebels under Luis Taruc, the most infamous product of my hometown), entered the town. It was dark, and there was shooting. My father, who was a military man, brought us all down to the ground floor where we were protected by adobe stones. The more wealthy people constructed a “bahay-na-bato” where the ground floor was adobe and the second floor was made of wood. This was to protect the family in instances like this where the adobe would protect its inhabitants against bullets.

Then came the scenes where the soldiers rode small boats. Actually, it was the small boats that ferried the soldiers to safety, since the big ships of the Allied Forces were targeted by the planes that were involved in the dogfights. In the end, the heroes of Dunkirk were the owners of the small private boats who saved the soldiers.

There were scenes where the soldiers would be thrown into the sea. This became an emotional moment for me, since I recently lost my husband in the sea when the waves were too mighty and capsized the small boat we were riding during a holiday tour of a really beautiful island. I decided to seek refuge in the comfort room to relieve myself. When I returned, the battle scenes were over, and the soldiers were now riding a train to civilization.

It was a happy ending after all. I wasn’t sorry I watched this movie. It brought me outside my comfort zone and into a place which caused me differing emotions. I went shopping to get back into reality. Now I must take a nap to rid myself of the past.