I was born during the period they called “the Liberation”. America had just given the Philippines its independence. There was celebration everywhere. In the midst of this, my baptismal party took place. I still have in my possession, a hundred dollar bill given to me by an American guest where he wished happiness for me.
It is April 20, 2020, a day before my seventy-fifth birthday. The whole country is under a lockdown, since the whole world is fighting a war against an invisible enemy, the corona virus disease 2019 or Covid-19 for short. We are under war conditions once again. There are no bullets flying, but there are deaths, many deaths. Everyone is advised to stay inside their homes, specially the elderly, whom they define as over 60 years. They assume that their bodies are more frail and will more easily succumb to death and disease. Do I feel frail? Do I think I am “elderly”? I haven’t looked at the mirror as often as I used to. There is no need to put on make-up, since there is no one who will come to see me. Oh, I need to look at the mirror when I put my eyedrops. The opthalmologist says my cornea has thinned, and should be kept moisturized to make sure I don’t get glaucoma. Yes, there is an indication of some deterioration of the body right there. I can walk and dance. But when I climb up and down the stairs, I need to hold on to the bannister because my knees cannot carry my weight. Okay, accept it: elderly.
I stay in this upscale community, where each house costs around $300,000. That’s not much by international standards, but by my country’s standards where the per capita annual income is around $3,500, that is high. The subdivision lies on 350 hectares of land, and right now there are only 350 houses built on it. During this time of quarantine, we only have 30 residents who have chosen to stay. We have the beach and pools and a golf course. Every day the sunsets warm ones heart with its beauty. Need I say more?
By myself, I wouldn’t have opted to buy a property and stay here. I am a simple person and have, in my opinion, few needs. But circumstances led my husband and myself to come here. Then he left me, leaving me alone in this big house.
Before this lockdown, my eldest daughter asked me to make a “Living Will”. I spelled out to her it that wouldn’t be necessary to prolong my life if it would just make me unable to continue using my basic faculties. I told her, “I have had a good life, and I’m ready to go.”
She repeated what I said, “You have had a good life, and you’re ready to go.” I answered in the affirmative. “Yes, I’m ready to go.”
What are the basic things that have made my life “good” in my assessment? Top in my list was having an ideal husband. He was intelligent, kind, generous, and good looking. We were together for forty years. There was nothing that I wanted that he didn’t get for me. Never raised his voice, never lost his temper even if he wanted to. Pure heaven…
Second goes to having a good set of kids. After high school, they left my house. Our motto was, “Whatever problems you will have, we won’t be able to help you.” Basically the reason behind this is that we, their parents, wouldn’t have a good grasp of what was going on in their lives, the surrounding circumstances that are giving rise to their problem. This is because we would be far away from them. We always assumed after they left for college, they were on their own. So this has its good and bad points. We don’t have those happy family reunions you see on sitcoms. They have grown up to be their own persons, strangers, to be frank. One time, middle son Jun said to me, “You don’t know me anymore.” He saw that, in my mind, he was still the happy boy that made everyone laugh. I didn’t know that he had made a name for himself, successful in his line of work in film.
The children have their ups and downs in their lives and their careers. But having had a solid family background and a good education, I can see they will weather whatever storms will come to shake their lives a bit.
The third factor was a happy childhood. My parents were serious professionals. They supported each other in major decisions. They made good investments that proved useful in giving them, and now, us, a comfortable life. They came from the same background, from the same town. They even lived two houses away from each other shared a set of first cousins. There were a few surprises in their lives, but in their minds, they were one with each other. My father, before he died, said to me, “Promise you will take care of your mother, and be nice to her.”
I still have, in my assessment, twenty more years to live. My grandmother died when she was 110 years old. My mother died when she was 95. So perhaps, when I write again in five years, I will keep you updated on health issues which will be more pronounced. Meanwhile, I have to keep healthy. Exercise and diet. Thank God for these years. They were indeed happy.
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